December Summary

December is equally an unlucky and lucky month. There is a lot of bad things that happened but there are good ones too. I want to reflect on those things so I will write them on this blog.

This month, I was really stressed because I have to keep carrying group projects because I have this irrational fear that if I do not take initiative, our grades will all fall and it will be my fault because I can. You know anxiety together with stress, that is how it feels like. I have to keep holding on to my hope that I will be able to graduate and leave my school because I have been suffering there for almost 6 years. Sometimes I regret transferring to my current school because if only I stayed at my previous school, I will probably have 4 years that are less stressful. However, if I actually stayed there, my perception of hard will be different too. I will not be ready in college as much as I am now. Lastly, I will not meet the people that changed me for good. I'm thankful but I'm ready to say goodbye to my current school since I got sick too often because of stress.

My PC died on me too this month. I do not have something I own and am confident in using. My files are safe on my hard drive but I miss my PC where I do not have to share with others when I'm writing and drawing. I feel like I'm bothering my brother because I have to keep asking if he wants to use it or not. I can't go back to my previous laptop because it is already disassembled. I'm glad when I heard my mother say that she's planning on buying me a CPU like my brother when she can already afford it. I will wait patiently for that day so I will do my best in my studies in return because that is the only option I can repay my parent's hard work. I'm also saving money for a portable device like a laptop or tablet, or I will use it to help them buy my PC.

Let's move on to the good news, shall we? I actually won 1st in a somewhat talent show. The club that I joined, they conducted a party as a celebration of the holiday break. I'm not informed that we have to show talent I only thought we should cosplay someone. I dressed as Rin Tohsaka of Fate by the way. The event happened in google meet so I immediately plugged my pen tab opened my drawing application. When I got called, I shared my screen and just sketch the anime version of myself in cosplay. I did not really expect that I will win because that is impromptu. I did not rehearse for it. Still, I received my prize and that will be added to my savings.

Speaking of savings, my ninong and ninang gave me money and I was really happy to receive something. I do not really hold money since the pandemic because I do not need to commute to my school. I hope my money increases in the future so I can buy the things I want to buy. Then, next time I am the one giving gifts to other people too.

I also enjoyed this holiday break, I got to rest, clean, watch, eat delicious food and do my hobbies. After this, I have to face my assignments again. I want to be fully recharged before January comes so for now, I will focus on my physical and mental health.